Writing this has felt like a lifetime to come and I feel, what I am about to say is important. I literally had no idea how I was going to say it. Was it a song, a poem, a drawing or a letter like this. This is the best way, I believe to say it.
Most of you will know that I was accused of something. I got arrested, held in custody and the torment begun. Before I continue, I want to say that the person who made the allegation is forgiven and is not an attack on them. It is my way of feeling safe to air out some issues.
I had heard stories before about those who are falsely accused getting sent to prison so only a little comfort came when you are told that nothing will happen if you are innocent. I was anxious and I told my closest friends about it.
The anxiety about whether they will believe you or the accuser is unreal. I think my friends did genuinely know the truth but your head goes crazy with thoughts of “are they just saying this to me” ect. The hurt you go through emotionally is real.
For me, comfort came in pretending that I just didn't care about the investigation. I did. It played on my mind everyday. Even now, the emotions are still there. In my head, the anxiousness to be around people just in case I get falsely accused of anything again.
One person who I fell out with during the investigation (and am friends with again, nothing to do with the investigation though) told I was “being a cunt” (sorry about the language). The thing that upsets me is I didn't feel comfortable airing how I was feeling, so I did probably start acting like a “cunt” - I become close to so many but during this, I didn't want to be close to anyone.
As the investigation continued, I guess I got worse. I started not airing most issues to anyone and thus, most are still trapped in my head.
Everyday, I'd consider taking my life. I came so close again once but told a church brother. The thoughts of self harming again become constant. Dying felt like an escape.
I’d chirp on, pretending to be happy. Pretending I wasn't letting this get to me. Hiding behind the facade I created of hyperactive, happy Ben. I guess that helped me escape what was going on - just for a while, until I was alone.
I started praying again. In tears to God most nights. I found solace, peace, love. A hole was filled again but I was still fueled with upset, doubt and worry.
Something was holding me back. I didn't feel guilty as I had done nothing wrong but I felt pain, hurt and there was a lot of unforgiveness in my heart. I had even tried writing a song about it and that didn't work. I needed to do something, I needed Jesus. Pastor Mark Stevens prayed for me, the accusation, and to forgive.
That moment on, I didn't look back. It was all about moving forward. Then, in general conversation it gets bought up. All those feelings are back apart from the unforgiveness.
It hurt. The fact that I had always tried best to help people. Support. Love. Give hope. Campaign. These were all things I know I did but I stopped believing I did these. I just felt like right now I was hurting people. I wanted this whole thing to end. I'm all honesty, I wanted to die. In my head I was starting to arrange it. This was going to be my final suicide attempt. The one that finally worked. The 6th October 2017 was going to be my last day on earth. I was going to leave at 3am as no one would walk past the river at that time.
I planned this weeks ago. My attempts before were not this well thought out. This one would work. I was determined.
Sunday just gone the 1st October 2017. I had a call from the police saying I had ‘no case to answer’ - I realised then that my God is real. He has a plan for me. He knows me better than me. I was overjoyed. Finally, a sense of justice.
I wanted to write this to show everyone that things are not as they seem and we can't take sides unless we have heard the full stories. We can't judge someone by how they act, because the don't know what's going through their head and we can't and must not fear the unknown.
For me, I've moved on. I write this to you on the 6th October 2017 about to go to sleep in bed. I start counseling tomorrow and I have a purpose.
Stop treating the accused as if they're convicted.
Just wanted to let you all know the police investigation is over. I am delighted to let you know this and it's time to move on. I move by the power of God and in his will. The person who made the allegation had been forgiven. How can I or anyone move on in life if you can't forgive. It's the only way to move forward.
I am really excited to write this to you. This year I am one of the actors at Fort Amherst's Halloween Horrors 'Amherst Underground's tour. The tour runs from the 26th October to the 31st October and tickets are available now by clicking on the button on my events page. MANY thanks, Ben xo
As of 3rd September 2017:
Technical and administrative errors means the 1:16 EP release date will be postponed. The Bulletproof City album has been cancelled due to creative interference. If I am going to release something it needs to feel right. To confirm, I am back at Kings Church in Chatham - much to the distain of some of my left wing comrades. I would question motives of theese people.
I was proud to have opened up the Medway Youth Trust Charity Fete and perfom Radiowaves hit single 'Hit The Ground' and it was good to pay our respects for Linking Park's late singer Chester Bennington by covering 'Nobody Can Save Me'
The police investigation still continues and I still haven't been charged or even bailed so that seems pretty positive and I know God has it all in hand. Plus today I managed with the help of God to forgive the accuser of the false accusation. I hope God convicts her of what she's done and I pray that she comes to find the Lord.
For those who are involved with the investigation on any side, to clarify - I do not have any restrictions and can visit my friends who live on the same street.
I am a child of the living God and therefore, I declare in Jesus name that it is OVER. It is time to move forward from this and not look back. I am innocent and my God will help me prove this.
Oh and since we last spoke, I no longer hear voices in my head. Praise God because meds and therapy did not work. The only thing that worked is spiritual and all praise and Glory to Jesus Christ.
I am home,back at Kings and God has a plan for me.
of 12th June 2017:
Releases and some things have taken a while and I have been open and honest about why, a police investigation. I feel the need to post an update as to what has happened since the last update.
I have had two correspondences with the police since I was arrested. The first one is a message on Facebook asking me to call them about getting my phone back. The second is when I called them to talk about getting my phone back.
OBVIOUSLY, there was nothing that "could get me into trouble" on there so I could get my phone whenever I want.
The issue that I have is that it's at North Kent Police Station and it's travel getting there. I understand that the police have a job to do, even if an allegation is false but I have been thinking recently and the police should, if they have taken someones property for forensics and it comes back with nothing, the police themselves should return the persons property.
The police officer investigating the false allegation seems to be fair and alright so this is not a dig at him but a dig at the process of collecting your personal property.
If it is not bad enough, mentally, having an accusation against you that's false, then living off a very low income as due to the investigation, you can't apply for certain jobs, it is very hard to find the money to collect your personal items. The police should have a way of getting these to people with low incomes or pay for their travel to collect the items.
I understand, having a Conservative Prime Minister, this can be very hard due to the constant police cuts.
This is my view and again, this is not a criticism of the police officer but of the process and getting my phone.
So, in regards to the news post on my official website, while I will not talk about what the investigation is, I will talk about my next steps, as I am fully confident that justice will prevail and I will be found innocent.
After being found innocent I will commit to doing a number of things as I refuse to let this go without a fight.
I cannot wait for the ability to seek revenge and fight this person through my art. One of the sayings that is brining me to the conclusion is a saying that I kind of stole off My Chemical Romance and that is 'Art Is The Weapon'
I have spent my entire life trying to help others and time will come to let this out. I sincerely hope, once the album is out, the liar gets embarrassed. You try to embarrass me and I will lash out like this, pretty meanly - I'm rock and roll like that.
The main message from the particular album and the lyrics that i've been writing are clear. We all have something to say, but we never say it with violence and to use art as your expression for how you feel.
I cannot currently give any time frames, as this whole thing is out of my control. It's time to fight. This is war.
Love and Peace to all those supporting me right now,
This is a statement about a police investigation that I am involved in. Don't worry too much because I am innocent and I am sure the truth will prevail in the end but it is vital to write this to you all.
I am not allowed to mention anything about the investigation but I have and will continue to cooperate with the police to prove my innocence.
Due to the investigation, all scheduled releases that are from all my music projects including Ben Rist and Bendubz will be delayed and there will be no vlogs or music videos on my youtube but you can continue to enjoy the old ones.
I will be back. Hold on, we can do this.
The truth will prevail and I will be back.
Love and peace to everyone.
At 10.30am, I will be joining Dartford Labour until around 1.30pm in the Labour Party day of action on the NHS. I am proud to be part of a party that supports the people and not the elite. I am proud we are doing this.
If you see a Labour Team out or are going out with a Labour team tweet a pic to me @BenRist with #ImageOfRevolution #LabourDayOfAction or post it to my Facebook wall with the caption #ImageOfRevolution.
Let's do this!
The Album 'The Image Of Revolution' teaser is up now.
Release Date: 13.02.17 ~ Pre-Order Date: 24.12.16.
2. Xenophobic Outbreak
3. Teenage Lovers
4. A Song Written During My Last Breakdown
5. Peoples Princess
6. Princess Gracie
7. Baby, Just Run
8. Sing It For The Boys
9. New World Order
11. Vampire Race
12. A Little Hope
Ben has built a partnership with Google's 'Uber' taxi service to say thanks for all the support given to him through his music and politics. Get a tenner worth free ride when you use Uber through the button below!
2nd of November 2014. I hear about a fascist group called Britain First attacking the streets with their xenophobia. I joined a group of 300 of us, all willing to do the same thing. Stop fascist groups in our diverse, multicultiral and equal town.
Their plan was to walk up to the war memorial at the end of the high street and rally there. We stopped them, just passed the Casino nightclub.
I stopped at the Labour Party stand to calm down. That's where we unitntentionally blocked them as I remember everyone followed me. I recall Vince Maple and Theresa Murray trying to calm me down. I was angry, upset and not in the best of minds. All my life up to that point, I had been a fighter for equality and I wasn't going to let them divide the community I lived.
I got home that night and my face was everywhere. Dealing with the public reaction was hard and we all know the story about what happened after that.
Two years later, and i'm back! Inspired and driven filled by Jeremy Corbyn to continue the fight I feel born to do. Fight for socialism, democracy, fight for the young, the vulnerable and fight for equality and multiculturalism.
We, the community were a team. We, as a team, won. We blocked the fascists from going where they wanted and set a landmark victory. Racism, Islamophobia, Christophobia, homophobia and all types of hate and discrimination are not welcome on our streets.
So, on November the 2nd 2016 - you can download the Image Of Revolution, title track for the album free and I will have an equality champions picture gallery on my site to commemorate those who have fought for equality and suffered for it.
I hope you all enjoy. Love and peace.
Who Writes The News (on this website)
This site is the official website to singer Ben Rist. It is run and updated by the pop stars managment team.
This is where all the latest news articles and blog posts from Ben are.